silhouette of a confident woman in the bedroom

Sex Positivity & Confidence in the Bedroom

Sex is an essential, integral part of the human experience. However, for so long, it has been a taboo topic – clouded by shame, stigma, and judgment. In many places, sex is still viewed in a negative light, with the only discussions around the topic covering abstinence.

So it’s no wonder that many people approach sex and intimacy with fear, insecurity, and shame. At Raya, we want everyone to feel comfortable in their own skin — whether they’re in the bedroom or outside of it. We also want to encourage open discussions about sex and intimacy for a safer, more fulfilling sexual experience — alone or with partners.

If you’re interested in learning about sex positivity and gaining confidence in the bedroom, this blog is for you. Join us as we cover sex-positive mindsets, sex-positive activities, and tips that could help you explore your pleasure more fully.

What Is Sex Positivity?

Sex positivity is still a very fluid term, as psychologists and mental health professionals continue to explore and study the topic. However, most of these experts generally agree that operating with a sex-positive mindset is about ensuring a healthy, respectful relationship with human sexuality and sexual activities.

Whether we’re talking about gender identity, sexual orientation, nudity, body positivity, relationship styles, safe sex, reproductive equity, or sex education, you should be able to approach every discussion without shame or stigma.

Instead of viewing sex and the topics surrounding it from a moralistic or medical lens, we’re trying to create a cultural framework that doesn’t treat sex as something to be repressed, controlled, or cured.

Examples of Sex Positivity

There are many ways to introduce sex positivity into your life, including a few sex-positive activities:

  • Learning to enjoy the pleasurable sensations in your body fully
  • Exploring various sex fantasies
  • Communicating your sexual desires and needs to partners
  • Developing a positive relationship with your body and body image
  • Advocating for sexual health and using safe sex practices
  • Being accepting of consensual sexual behaviors in others
  • Supporting laws and policies that ensure consensual sexual freedom
  • Encouraging comprehensive sex education in school

Some of these sex-positive activities help you advocate for yourself, while others, focus on helping everyone thrive.

Examples of Sex Negativity

On the other end of the spectrum, we have sex negativity, which encourages an unhealthy relationship with sex. Some actions that may have a negative impact on your sex life include:

  • Making STIs or sexualities the punchline
  • Assuming that anything outside the “norm” is a sign of mental health issues
  • Shaming people who engage in frequent or casual (consensual) sexual encounters
  • Blaming victims of sexual assault for their experience
  • Advocating for punishment or violence for sex workers or LGBTQIA+ individuals
  • Considering sex to be dirty, sinful, or other negative adjectives
  • Making negative comments about a person’s sexual activities, body, or identity

People who do the above may not be ready to have a truly healthy sexual relationship and may need to re-examine their opinions and behaviors.

How To Be Sex Positive

exploring sexual kinks is sex positivity

Being more positive about sex and sexuality is easier than you think. Here are some tips that may help you shift your feelings and actions concerning sex positivity:

  • Value your own sexuality. Learn about your body, your wants, and your needs.
  • Share and respect pronouns. This sets boundaries for yourself and is a type of allyship.
  • Advocate for sex positivity in policy. Join a group, write to your senator, or volunteer for others.
  • Examine your reactions to sex. Confront negativity as it relates to sex toys, roleplay, and other activities that fall outside what’s considered the norm.

The Importance of Finding Your Confidence

It’s nearly impossible to live your life without carrying at least a little bit of sexual shame, as this is a byproduct of our culture. However, shifting away from a negative perspective may improve your confidence in yourself and your needs. By changing your approach to sex, you’ll stop pressuring yourself to fulfill someone else’s narrative and create a strong foundation for experiencing joy and connection in the bedroom.

Tips to Enhance Your Confidence

So how do you break away from sex negativity to find your confidence? Consider these tips for sex positivity and enhanced confidence:

  • Notice your negative self-talk. Is your inner dialogue saying mean things about yourself or others in relation to how your body looks or what you enjoy during sex? Pay attention to when you’re pressuring yourself to perform and what type of self-critical thoughts creep in. Once you know your triggers, you can work on changing the narrative.
  • Be more mindful in the bedroom. When you’re more present and aware during intimate experiences, you can banish self-judgment in favor of compassion. Women, especially, don’t feel entitled to sexual pleasure, which can result in fewer orgasms and overall satisfaction. With mindfulness, you can focus on what you deserve and improve your experiences.
  • Team up with your partner. Research shows that being able to talk to your partner strengthens your relationship and opens up many more opportunities in the bedroom. Talking to your partner about sex also grows trust and ensures their emotional presence every time you get intimate.

Exploring Your Desires

a woman unhooking her bra strap

At Raya, we’re all about encouraging everyone to explore their desires in a sex-positive and confident way. One tool you can use for this exploration is the Lotus sex mat from Raya. With this product, you can engage in solo and partnered activities that make sex toy use much simpler and easier.

The mat is designed for everyone to use: it’s comfortable, secure, and ideal for all genders. It’s a 100% hands-free experience! We’ve made sure the mat is super thick for easy kneeling and non-slip, so you can stay put and simply focus on your pleasure. Check out what this mat has to offer today and gain a new perspective on sex positivity and intimacy.

Learn More

If you’re interested in learning more about how you can ensure a healthy sex life, make sure to check out the rest of the Raya blog for discussions about sex education, using sex toys, and recommendations for incorporating the Lotus into your intimate moments.

About the Author

Raya Love

Alex Bliss is a pleasure enthusiast and freelance writer who began to focus on sex education several years ago. Alex became interested in helping others explore and understand their own needs when they realized that there wasn’t enough conversation around sex accommodation for differently abled, transgender, and marginalized individuals. On the Raya blog, Alex hopes to help others revolutionize their most intimate moments by creating a safe space to share experiences and foster education.

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